Life changes

It has been almost 5 months since my life started to change little by little. I had no idea what path I was taking, or how it would change my day-to-day life. I had no idea how it would change my spirit. But change it has.

I guess it started in mid to late January. I had agreed to take some teenage girls to Revolve (the younger version of Women of Faith). As time got closer, the more nervous I became. I wanted to find some excuse to get out of taking them. I was feeling desperate as other adults that were planning on going were having to back out for one reason or another. I knew I was "stuck".

I was getting worried that one of these girls might make a choice to follow Jesus during this trip, and I felt poorly equipped to be able to answer any questions pertaining to God. I have been a Christian since I was a young child, but I was scared to lead anyone to Christ. I decided I had better read my bible and spend some time in prayer.

It was that simple.....just making a small commitment. I read my bible for just a few days before we left for our trip. Once in the car on my way to Denver with a van full of girls, I knew this was it! During that weekend with those girls, I was touched by the Spirit. I don't know how or what changed. I'm not even sure I really KNEW that something had changed. I came home energized and excited about the weekend. I felt different.

I made a new commitment to God about spending time in bible each day. I have missed very few days of bible time. I have spent time in prayer almost daily, again missing only a few times. I didn't notice much difference in the beginning, but after a few weeks there were subtle changes. I LONGED to be with God. I couldn't sleep if I skipped reading my bible. The highlight of my week was Tuesday evening bible study. Unlike past bible studies I've been involved with, it wasn't about the social aspect, but about God! I was beginning to feel the Holy Spirit in my heart.....daily!

I found myself enjoying my quiet time. I found myself enjoying everything a bit more. Did it make me that "perfect" person? NO. I still yelled at my kids, got frustrated with my husband, and sadly, still participated in gossip. Nope, it didn't make me perfect, but it made me want to be better.

Here it is the middle of June, and here is what I know as fact:
God is very much a living God. The Spirit actually FILLS my heart, and it feels like new love. That feeling when you first started spending time with the person you fell in love with. I feel a peace I've never had! A peace about life, my family, this world that is calming! I have no fear of death or the end times. I actually look forward to God's return instead of hoping it won't come. The biggest difference is how I am CONTENT with my life.

It didn't seem like a big deal, but then I realized I've seldom (if ever) been content with my life. I've always NEEDED the next big thing. There was always something bigger or better out there. Once I had it, there was something else. I defined myself based on these things. I was defined by my children, my husband, my job title, or anything else that might bring me the temporary peace. It just never lasted. With Jesus at my very core, I'm content! I'm content with my home, my community, my family, and my job. I'm thankful for what I have been blessed with.

I want to be in God's presences. I want to follow His will for my life. I'm excited about putting everything in that basket! I know just from a few months of living in this place that I can't lose! The peace I have every day is so much more than anything else I could possibly achieve at any other time in my life.

As long as I trust God and spend time with Him, I know my life will be full. I also know that even though I may face some difficult times, there is nothing that will be too great.

I am looking forward to how God will use me in my family, my community, and this world. I pray that in the end I will hear "Well done my good and faithful servant!"