Divorced!!! What happened?
So many people were shocked to hear of my divorce. We were the couple that "would last forever" and "were perfect for each other". There was a time when that was true. I'm so thankful for what came out of my marriage....mainly my 4 amazing kids. I was a stay-at-home mom for years and while I loved most moments of it, I did find I lost myself. I lost who I was. I was HIS wife and THEIR mom. I wasn't sure what I loved or was passionate about. And I struggled with depression off and on.
After some issues with my husbands ability to find solid work, I went to work after years of being away. I really enjoyed working but struggled to make enough money to keep the family afloat. I was blessed enough to find a job that was excellent money, but long hours working as a paramedic. This was enough to take care of the family, but kept me away with 24 hour shifts. This was a blessing and a curse I suppose.
I found myself. I enjoyed working. I enjoyed learning who I was. I was finding myself and my self confidence. I felt important and liked taking care of the family. However, it also started to wear on how good a mom I was. I was always tired. I just never had the energy on my days off. And the issues in my marriage became major issues. The things I had been bothered with for years but shrugged off were huge deals now and just didn't seem to improve.
At some point I just decided I was done. There were plenty of mistakes on both side. I certainly carry plenty of the "blame" or "responsibility" for the problems. I know I'm not the easiest person to live with. But in the end, there were some things I just couldn't let go and decided that my happiness was important.
It wasn't an easy choice. I didn't make it lightly. And there you have it.....an amazingly watered down divorce story. It will all make sense over the next few months as I tell my story.
After some issues with my husbands ability to find solid work, I went to work after years of being away. I really enjoyed working but struggled to make enough money to keep the family afloat. I was blessed enough to find a job that was excellent money, but long hours working as a paramedic. This was enough to take care of the family, but kept me away with 24 hour shifts. This was a blessing and a curse I suppose.
I found myself. I enjoyed working. I enjoyed learning who I was. I was finding myself and my self confidence. I felt important and liked taking care of the family. However, it also started to wear on how good a mom I was. I was always tired. I just never had the energy on my days off. And the issues in my marriage became major issues. The things I had been bothered with for years but shrugged off were huge deals now and just didn't seem to improve.
At some point I just decided I was done. There were plenty of mistakes on both side. I certainly carry plenty of the "blame" or "responsibility" for the problems. I know I'm not the easiest person to live with. But in the end, there were some things I just couldn't let go and decided that my happiness was important.
It wasn't an easy choice. I didn't make it lightly. And there you have it.....an amazingly watered down divorce story. It will all make sense over the next few months as I tell my story.
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